Defying Desire Read online

  Since Jake and Jessica’s deaths she hadn’t been out to dinner or the movies or done much socializing or hanging out at all. She hadn’t wanted to do any of those things. She felt guilty for being the sole survivor. And how could life ever be rich and enjoyable again after the unbearable heartache she’d endured? She didn’t think it could.

  Today, she was moving even slower than usual. Trent had left around three this morning so she’d had more than eight hours of sleep. She shouldn’t be moving in this sluggish manner but her destination was playing a big part in her mood.

  Jade’s baby shower was in two hours.

  An elaborate luncheon had been planned to celebrate the arrival of the first Donovan grandchildren. These would be the most famous twins in Las Vegas history for some time. The press were chomping at any tidbits they could gather regarding Jade and the sex of the twins. But Linc was determined to keep the secret. So determined that Trent had even paid Jade’s doctor a surprise visit, telling him in no uncertain terms what would happen if the sex of the twins became public.

  When he’d told her that Tia had laughed, then she realized he was quite serious. Trent was not a man to be crossed. And he would do whatever was necessary to protect the people he loved.

  Stepping into the shower Tia thought seriously about that. What type of woman would capture Trent’s heart? In the last two weeks she’d had time to get to know him better than she thought any woman had in a really long time. And over this time she’d confirmed what she already knew—Trent Donovan was a great catch. He was everything a woman could ever dream of in a man. Handsome, protective and fiercely loyal. So why did she continuously put him out of her house?

  The answer was easy: Tia wasn’t looking for what every other woman was. She’d had it once and it was taken away from her.

  No sense putting herself in a position to be hurt again. She didn’t think she’d be able to take it.

  Turning her back on the spray of water, she let her forehead rest on the tiled wall of the shower.

  Yes, Jake and Jessica had been taken from her through a power too high for her to question. But in those first months she’d done just that. Asking God why He’d done something so cruel and so heartless to her had been futile and as her mother had told her, just plain disrespectful. God did not make mistakes, Madeline had said.

  And after a while Tia had begun to believe her. Well, she’d actually remembered that she’d believed that all along. Through her pain of losing them she realized that the plan for their life just didn’t include her. And she’d started to accept that. Throughout that time she’d also begun to accept something else: that her life obviously did not entail that type of happiness.

  As good a catch as Trent was, he wasn’t meant to be her catch. They were having fun together but that was as far as it would go. He would not be falling in love with her, nor she with him. That was not their fate.

  When she was through showering Tia stood in the mirror taking an extreme amount of time to style her hair. Each time Trent saw her and she’d had it up he’d simply taken it down. While they had sex he would continuously thread his fingers through the tiny braids. He liked when they draped over onto his chest as she rode him, or fanned out on the pillow as he moved on top of her. And when she realized that the reason she was fussing with her hair so fervently was because she wanted to do something that he would like, she immediately stopped. Leaving the top pulled up with a clear clip and the rest hanging down her back.

  Going to her closet, she decided on dark, flare-leg jeans and a yellow blouse. Her yellow Donna Karan jeweled sandals were one of her favorites and she sat on the bed to tie the thin straps around her ankles. Standing before the wall-length mirror, she surveyed herself and liked what she saw.

  The ride to the Donovan estate would take her about forty minutes. Checking her clock she realized she’d taken a little too long on her hair and had exactly forty minutes to get to the shower on time. She hated being late for anything. Moving into the living room she spotted the box that had been delivered yesterday afternoon. For the shower gift, she’d decided on a double changing table with a cascade trim and honey-oak finish. Camille had mentioned that Jade was designing the nursery with oak furniture and shades of yellow and green. The changing table was beautiful and would fit into the décor splendidly.

  Grabbing her purse and her keys, Tia lifted the box and headed out the door. She was allotted two parking spots for her apartment and always parked in the one closest to the mailboxes. Getting closer to her car she noticed that she had a flat tire. She was in the process of cursing when she came around to the other side of the car and noticed that tire, too, was flat. Propping the box up against the door she went to the back intending to open the trunk and get out her spare when she noticed that the back two tires were flat, as well.

  “Dammit!” she swore.

  There was no way she could wait for the auto club to come and fix the tires and get to the baby shower at a respectable time. And as much as she didn’t really want to go she didn’t want to disappoint Camille, either. With that thought in mind she reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone.

  “Hello?” Camille answered sounding a little winded.

  “Hi, Camille. It’s me, Tia.”

  “Hey, Tia. What’s up? Are you on your way?”

  “I was but I have a flat. Or rather a couple of flat tires. If you’re not too busy do you think you could pick me up?”

  “You know I would but I’m already at the house trying to get some last minute things together. But wait, Adam just walked in. I’ll see if he can pick you up. Hold on.”

  “No, that’s…” Tia was about to tell her that was okay but in the background she could hear Camille asking her fiancé to come and pick her up.

  “Okay, it’s all set. Adam said he’ll be there within the hour,” Camille said returning to the phone.

  “That’s okay, Camille, I just won’t come. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.”

  “It’s not an inconvenience. Adam left our gift at the house so he’s heading out toward your direction anyway. Just sit tight, he’ll be there soon.”

  Closing the phone Tia decided not to go back into her apartment. If she did she knew she’d come up with another reason not to go to the shower. So instead she walked around the car noticing that not only were the tires flat, they’d been slashed so that the rubber was hanging out in jagged intervals.

  Looking around she tried to see if this was a group act of vandalism or just her car. None of the other vehicles in the lot were affected. Taking a deep breath she opened the door to her car and took a seat, turning on the radio to listen and wait for her ride.

  Trent was more than an hour late for the shower. It wasn’t a big deal since this get-together was more for the women of the family. Still, Jade had insisted that Linc be there. And in turn Linc had browbeaten his brothers into enduring the torture with him.

  Pulling up behind a line of cars coming out of his parents’ driveway, Trent got out and walked toward the house. He wasn’t at all surprised to see his brothers along with his cousins Max, Ben and Brandon standing out front, beers in hand.

  “What’s going on? You guys get kicked out of the party?” he joked.

  “You try sitting in a room full of women talking about the joys and pains of pregnancy,” Max joked extending his hand for Trent to shake.

  “Yeah, every few minutes they’d realize men were in the room and then we’d get these sizzling looks as if all the pain and dreariness of pregnancy were our fault.” This was Brandon Donovan whom Trent was completely surprised to see. Brandon lived in Houston, where, last Trent heard, he was a junior investor working for a new but solvent hedge fund called TJB Investments.

  Brandon was Uncle Albert’s son whose mother had passed away seven years ago. Since then Uncle Albert hadn’t been to many of the family gatherings. Brandon and Bailey, his twin sister, tended to stick close to their father, keeping an eye on him. Their adopted broth
er Brock lived in Maryland and didn’t come to many family functions.

  “Well, well, well. What brings you out to Sin City, little cousin?” Trent asked thumping fists with Brandon then giving him a hug.

  “It’s not everyday one of the Triple Threats prepares to be a father,” Brandon said, smiling at Linc.

  “True. Congratulations again, man.” Trent shook Linc’s hand, then caught the questioning glare Adam was giving him.

  “What’s up, Adam?”

  “I’m just wondering where your head is at right now.

  “Not now, Adam,” Linc warned.

  Trent was confused. The last time he’d seen his brothers they’d left things on an even keel. “What’s the problem?”

  “I had to pick your woman up today. Where were you?” Adam said, ignoring Linc’s glare.

  “Whoa, what are you talking about ‘my woman’?”

  “Yeah, you know Trent doesn’t keep one woman,” Ben joked.

  “Look at him, he doesn’t even know which one you’re talking about,” Max added.

  Trent, however, wasn’t getting the joke. “Speak your mind, Adam, and stop beating around the bush.”

  “Okay. Tia’s car was vandalized. She called Camille for a ride so I went to pick her up.”

  “What? When was this? I didn’t know anything about something happening to her car.”

  “Oh, I forgot. You’re only interested in sleeping with her, not making sure she’s safe.”

  Where was this coming from? And why was Adam giving him this attitude? Trent knew the answer—he’d known that getting involved with Tia was going to be too personal for Adam because of Camille.

  “Trent has a right to lead his own life, Adam. We can’t change the man he is,” Linc said.

  “But is he a man? I mean, really? When are you going to grow up and start taking…”

  Trent was in his face in seconds; the other Donovan men stepping either behind Adam or behind him, ready to pull the two of them apart. “First off, you’re still wet behind your ears with your nose wide open for Camille. I don’t say anything about that because it’s your business. Just like what goes on between Tia and me is my business.”

  Adam, while not a SEAL, was a Donovan, he didn’t back down. “The world doesn’t revolve solely around you, Trent. If you don’t want her then leave her alone. But don’t treat her like you treat the rest of your flings. If she gets hurt, Camille will not only want to castrate you, I’ll have to hear it every night for the rest of my life.”

  “Tia’s a grown woman, Adam. I doubt she needs you or Camille worrying about her.” Trent didn’t have time for this. The last thing he wanted was to interrupt Linc’s day. Apparently his presence was doing just that. He turned to walk away but remembered something Adam said.

  “What did you mean by ‘keeping her safe’? Was she there when her car was vandalized?”

  “She had to have been. When I got there she said she hadn’t left the apartment since last night when she was with you,” Adam said in a clipped voice.

  Trent’s mind whirled. After their walk they’d returned to her apartment, where she’d insisted he needed to go home. While a huge part of him wanted to stay, Trent wasn’t ready to acknowledge that urging and waited until she’d fallen asleep before leaving. He hadn’t checked her car before he pulled off, hadn’t thought there was a need to.

  “What are you thinking?” Max asked, giving Trent a knowing look.

  “Nothing,” Trent answered quickly.

  Ben took another sip of his beer. “It was probably just some kids fooling around.”

  “Yeah,” Trent said absently. “Probably just some kids.”

  But the sudden alertness of his body and the tingling at the base of his neck said differently.

  Tia had been enjoying herself for the half hour she’d been at the shower. During the ride with Adam she’d had thoughts of telling him to turn around and take her back home. But that was childish. She could do this. She would do this.

  Arriving at the house of Linc and Jade Donovan, she’d been amazed by the beautiful grounds and expert décor throughout the house. The shower was mainly situated in the dining room, leading out to the wraparound deck. Streamers, balloons and yellow and green baby paraphernalia decorated the room throughout. Long tables covered in white linen cloths with tiny embroidered teddy bars along the edge held so much food that Tia thought she’d be sick. There was everything from deviled eggs to salmon and caviar. It was clear that no expense would be spared for these babies.

  “So what’d you get her?” Noelle, Jade’s younger sister, asked as she took the seat next to Tia.

  She’d come out onto the deck trying to get a moment of quiet. There were so many women in the house that she’d smiled and talked as much as if she were at a press conference.

  But Noelle was extremely nice and very down to earth. Having been new to the Donovan family at one time she was trying to find her place, as well. So Tia felt they at least had that in common.

  “Dual changing tables,” she answered.

  “Huh, why didn’t I think of that?”

  Tia grinned. “What did you get her?”

  “I didn’t have a clue. What do you buy the woman who has everything? Fantastic, rich husband who loves her to distraction. Gorgeous house. Successful business. And now she’s pregnant with twins and still as beautiful as ever.” Noelle sighed. “Can you tell I hate her?”

  “No. But I can tell you really love your sister. You’ve been running around here making sure that everything is where it should be as well as making sure Jade’s comfortable. As much as you and Linc fuss over her I’m surprised she’s even allowed to walk by herself.”

  Noelle laughed. “I know, complete overkill. But she’s my sister and she’s looked out for me for so long. I’m happy for her.”

  Tia looked at Noelle with her burnt orange complexion and laughing gray eyes. She was a striking beauty with shoulder length hair and a gorgeous smile. When she’d first met her Tia wondered why she didn’t model. But then Camille had informed her that Noelle had just received her business degree and was working for Linc at the Gramercy Casino. Brains and beauty, she was a killer package that some smart man was quickly going to scoop up.

  “She and Linc are going to be great parents,” Tia said wistfully.

  “Yeah.”

  They sat in silence for all of two minutes before Noelle said what was really on her mind.

  “So what’s up with you and Trent? I hear you’ve been kickin’ it lately.”

  How had she heard that? Tia didn’t even have to ask. The Donovan brothers were extremely close. Trent probably told them and Adam told Camille. As an only child Tia never had to deal with her business being spread about the family.

  “We’re just friends,” she answered and felt a thud in her chest at the proclamation.

  Noelle apparently didn’t believe those words because she turned to stare at Tia with an “and I’m Queen Elizabeth” look.

  “Trent does not have women ‘friends,’” she quipped.

  “Oh really? Well, what does he have?”

  “Lovers,” Noelle said without hesitation.

  And that’s exactly what they were. “So why ask if you already knew?”

  Noelle shrugged not remotely embarrassed by her prodding. “The female version of simply sexual relationships is always better than the male.”

  They both laughed at that. “You’ve got that right,” Tia said. She liked Noelle Vincent. The woman was smart and fun and picked up on everything. She suspected that’s why Linc had been singing her praises at the casino.

  “Come on, they’re about to open the gifts,” Noelle said, standing from her seat. “You don’t want to miss all the Gucci booties and Versace sleepers.”

  Tia stood with her. “No, we definitely don’t want to miss that.”

  Twenty minutes later Tia was sitting on the couch, matriarch Beverly Donovan on one side and Noelle on the other. Jade had begun opening
the mountain of presents that had been bought for either her or the twins.

  As Tia watched her open a box with a white velour Donna Karan robe she wondered why she hadn’t just brought Jade a present for herself, instead of putting herself through the trauma of picking out a baby gift.

  “That was beautiful,” Beverly Donovan whispered to Tia.

  Tia nodded. She and Beverly had spoken briefly on the occasions they’d met at Camille’s parties or showings. But today, Tia noted the woman made an attempt to talk to her a little more. She wondered if it was because of the open knowledge that she and Trent were sleeping together.

  Jade was now opening the box with the double stroller. Next followed a box full of sleepers and undershirts. Tia figured the room was filled with at least fifty women. More of the Donovan family, some of Jade’s employees, Camille and Noelle. Yet Tia felt as if the crowd were bigger. The room suddenly seemed smaller, tight.

  From somewhere in the room a camera flashed. Women clapped and cooed, loving each gift that Jade opened. Tia’s vision blurred a bit as she felt her cheeks lifting in what she hoped was a smile. Jade was opening another box, it appeared heavy, too heavy for her to lift. Camille, who had been standing beside her, helped, pushing the box across the floor in front of Jade instead of picking it up. Jade leaned forward, her protruding stomach resting between her legs. With perfectly manicured nails she began tearing at the cheerfully wrapped box.

  Tia felt as if a lead weight had been dropped on her chest. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, tried to inhale slowly, to ease the pain away. It didn’t work.

  When she opened her eyes Jade was smiling, Linc had brought her a rocking chair that looked to be antique. She’d had a rocking chair similar to that in Jessica’s nursery. Sounds thundered in her head.