Defying Desire Read online

“Are things going all right with work?”

  “He’s a slippery one but then we knew that since we’ve been tracking him for five years. But we’re closing in.”

  “So you’ll be home soon?”

  He was quiet.

  “Trent?”

  “I’m not sure I’m coming home, to Vegas I mean.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I’ve been thinking about opening that P.I. firm with Sam Desdune. If so, I’ll probably head back east for a while to see how he’s running the operation there, then settle on a location on the west coast.”

  “Oh,” she said waiting patiently for him to get to the real reason he’d called. “That sounds like a smart plan if it’s what you really want.”

  He sighed. “Yeah. I think it’s time to get out of this game. The traveling and instability, I’m getting a little old for it.”

  Beverly nodded. “So you’re ready to settle down…in one place I mean?”

  “I think it’s time.”

  He sounded lonely, and her mother’s instinct wished it could reach through that phone and hug him. But Trent was her most independent child. He made his own decisions in his own time or he didn’t do it. That’s why she kept silent and only hugged him three weeks ago when he’d come to the house to say he was leaving. She’d seen something in his eyes that day she’d never seen before and knew it could only be one thing.

  Her baby had finally fallen in love.

  Of course she’d talked to Camille who’d informed her that Tia and Trent were no longer seeing each other. Tia hadn’t given Camille all the details except to say that it just wasn’t going to work. She didn’t want to be sitting on pins and needles wondering if he’d come back to her dead or alive.

  To a certain extent Beverly could understand the young woman’s fears. She certainly worried each and every day that Trent was away. But she’d learned to have faith that whatever was meant to be would be. As she’d told Tia before, God did not make mistakes.

  “It might be time you stopped calling everybody but the one you really want to talk to,” Beverly said quietly.

  “She doesn’t want to talk to me. She made that perfectly clear.”

  “And what do you want?”

  Trent was so quiet for so long she thought they’d been disconnected.

  “Trent?”

  “I want her.”

  She sighed. “You’ve never backed down from something you wanted before. Why now?”

  “Because I love her enough to want her to be happy. And if she’s happier without me,” he cleared his throat. “If she’s happier without me then that’s the way it will be.”

  “I don’t think either one of you is happy and it’s high time somebody did something about it.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Mom. I’ve accepted the way things have to be.”

  But Beverly hadn’t. Those two belonged together and the minute Trent stepped back on American soil she was going to make sure they knew it.

  Camille had warned Adam not to call. What she’d told him this afternoon was in the deepest of confidence. He couldn’t betray her.

  He shouldn’t betray her.

  But Trent was his brother and he deserved to know.

  “Donovan?”

  Adam moved into his home office after closing and locking the door. Camille was somewhere in the house so he’d used his cell phone. Locking the door ensured she didn’t walk in on his conversation.

  “Hey, man, what’s up?”

  “Adam? What’s going on? Are Mom and Dad okay?” Trent asked, concern lacing his voice.

  “They’re fine,” he answered quickly. This was the first time Adam had ever called Trent while he was on assignment. But circumstances called for drastic measures.

  “Then why are you calling?”

  “Is this a bad time?”

  “I’m in the Middle East hunting a terrorist. What do you mean is this a bad time? What’s going on?”

  Adam took a deep breath and said it before he changed his mind for the billionth time. “Tia’s pregnant.”

  There was a lot of background noise and Adam called out to Trent wondering if the line had been broken.

  “Say that again,” he finally spoke.

  “Noelle went out to L.A. for work and she stopped by to check on her. Tia was really sick. For the next two days Noelle stayed with her and finally convinced her to go to the doctor. She found out she was pregnant yesterday.”

  “Did she tell you to call me?”

  Adam didn’t answer.

  “Adam, did she tell you to call me?”

  “It doesn’t matter. You two are being ridiculous. She’s carrying your child, man. You need to get your ass back here and take care of her. Make things right with her.”

  Thousands of miles away Trent pinched the bridge of his nose. They’d captured Clobol last night but not without bloodshed. Josh was hurt, his truck barely escaping the explosives that booby-trapped Clobol’s hideaway. Baywatch had been shot twice while they attempted to apprehend the suspected terrorist. It had been a rough night and now this.

  “I’m not what she wants,” he said finally, feeling the all too familiar sting of rejection.

  The day Tia had told him they had no future had been worse than all the deaths he’d witnessed, all the lives he’d taken. The pain had been unbearable, intolerable, until he’d had no choice but to walk away from her. Because to stay would have been dangerous for them both.

  “That’s bull and you know it! You’ve both got some pretty stupid hang-ups if you ask me. And this baby is just the sign you two need to get off your stupid stools and act like mature adults who love each other.”

  Was this his baby brother talking? Was this the same one who’d wiped snot on his shirt sleeve until he was in middle school? When had Adam grown into such a man?

  “Adam, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but—”

  “Don’t give me that. You know what the right thing to do is, Trent. I don’t have to tell you. She’s carrying your child and I thought you should know.”

  Trent was silent, letting this entire conversation digest. “Camille’s going to kick your ass for telling me this, you know that right?”

  Adam chuckled. “That’s why I’m counting on you to make things right so I’ll have some leverage when she finds out.”

  There really wasn’t a choice, Trent conceded. If Tia was pregnant with his child he had to go to her. The fact that they couldn’t make it together was their decision and he would live with it. But his child…his child…Trent never thought about having kids of his own, never realized he’d wanted them. But with this new knowledge he felt a warmth in his chest, a tingling of pride that he and a woman like Tia had created a child, a baby that would call him “Daddy.”

  “I’ll be home as soon as I can,” he said, then disconnected the line and hurried to pack.

  Chapter 17

  Sleep didn’t come easy to Tia these days. It had been almost a week since she’d found out she was pregnant. Yes, pregnant with Trent Donovan’s baby.

  How bad could one person’s luck actually be?

  Tia felt as if she had a permanent hex placed on her personal life. Her career was in full swing but she’d made an error in judgment the night she’d invited Trent to her bed. Initially she’d thought she could handle it, she’d done so before.

  But those other men weren’t Trent. Only Trent could get her so worked up she’d forget to remind him about protection. He’d apologized afterward, she remembered, and looked genuinely remorseful. But the fact was, they’d gotten carried away. Both of them. So it was a mutual mess up.

  Resting a hand to her still-flat stomach she sighed. A mutual mess up that would now forever be a reminder of the short time they’d had together.

  Tia was hardly kidding herself. She and Trent were over. She’d told him that she could not stay in a relationship with him, he’d accepted and left. But then what had she thought he would do? Did she want him to quit his
job to be with her? Would that have made her happy? Probably not, she decided. That man loves his job.

  She stared at the phone wondering if today would be the day she tried to contact him. Shaking her head she looked away. No, not today. She needed more time to acclimate herself to this new development before pulling Trent into the equation.

  It was bad enough Noelle and Camille knew. If and when the rest of the Donovan clan found out they would circle her like a pack. Because that’s what they were: a family, a strong, close-knit family who did what they had to do for each other.

  Tia had no doubt that would include telling Trent about her situation.

  No, she was definitely not ready for that.

  “Tia?” Noelle called as she knocked lightly on her bedroom door.

  Noelle had been with her for the past week. She’d stayed in L.A. under the pretense of casino business, but Tia knew that it was at Camille’s urging that Noelle stayed and kept an eye on her. Which for the most part didn’t bother Tia. She hadn’t realized how difficult it would be to go back to her solitary life after having the Donovans under foot for the past month. Tia had to admit she really enjoyed them.

  “Come in,” Tia answered, turning from the window she’d been staring out of.

  “Hey, how you feeling?” Noelle asked, first peeking her head inside, then coming fully into the room.

  Tia really liked Noelle. She was fun to be around and compassionate and she was gorgeous, there was no doubt about that. She’d assumed Noelle had a boyfriend but from the sounds of her stilted conversations with some man named Luther, it wasn’t a match made in heaven. Still, she was sure once Noelle officially dropped him she’d have many other men at her door.

  “I’m better. Still a little tired though.”

  “Well, the doctor said you had a virus on top of your pregnancy. So you’re probably going to need a while to get over that.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. What are you up to today?” she asked when Noelle hadn’t taken her usual seat on the foot of Tia’s bed while they talked. “Is it time for you to get back to the casino?”

  Noelle looked at her strangely. “Why? Are you putting me out?”

  “Of course not,” Tia smiled. “You just look so serious today. I was wondering if you were hating to leave L.A.”

  “No. That’s not it.”

  “Then what’s going on? You can talk to me, Noelle. For all the help you’ve given me these past few days, you can tell me anything.”

  Noelle sighed heavily, then looked back to Tia. “I have to tell you something that I know you’re not going to like. And I’m only going to tell you because I think you should know what’s about to happen. We’ve become pretty good friends and as a friend—”

  She interrupted. “Just tell me, Noelle.”

  “I know you weren’t expecting this and that’s why I wanted to say something to you first.”

  “Noelle, what are you trying to say?”

  “She’s trying to tell you that I’m back.”

  Tia froze. His voice was like thick honey slipping all over her body. Only she couldn’t afford to let herself get swallowed in that funnel again. Turning slowly, she let her eyes sweep the room until they found him. He looked even better than ever. He wore jeans and a T-shirt that fit him too well to be legal and an expression that said he had a lot on his mind. Tia swallowed hard.

  “Are you going to be all right?” Noelle had come to stand beside her, dropping a hand to her shoulder. It was good to have a friend, another one, she thought. Camille—bless her heart—had probably told her fiancé about Tia’s pregnancy because she loved him so very much and wanted no secrets between them. And because the Donovans were thicker than thieves, Adam had most likely told Trent. She couldn’t be angry with any of them. But she was nervous as hell.

  Facing Trent with this news was inevitable, however, she would have liked to be a little more prepared. Instead, here she was sitting near the window in her bedroom looking as if she’d been through a world war.

  “It’s fine, Noelle. Don’t worry about it.”

  Tia stood because the last thing she wanted was to appear weak in front of Trent. He expected more than that.

  “I’m not going to hurt her, Noelle,” he said with a look of impatience.

  Noelle sauntered toward the door. “Who said I was worried about you hurting her,” she quipped on her way out.

  The corner of his mouth lifted as he shook his head and closed the door behind her. Tia watched his movements, noting the flex of muscles in his arms and his back as he turned. Her gaze continued to roam over him until she realized she was checking to see if he’d been hurt while he was away.

  It had been four weeks since she’d last seen him and not one day had gone by that she hadn’t thought of him, of his safety. In fact, her nights had been filled with sleepless hours as she’d imagined any and everything possible happening to him. Wasn’t this the very thing she’d hoped to avoid by breaking up with him?

  “How are you?” he asked, leaning against the door.

  He’d folded his arms over his chest as she’d perused him. He was so damned arrogant, she thought. And so damned fine.

  “I’m good. How are you?”

  His heart hammered in his chest with the force of a battering ram and he thought he was going to be sick. He’d say he wasn’t doing too well.

  Trent had flown directly to L.A. not wanting to waste a moment by stopping in Vegas first. He’d needed to see her, to set his eyes on her once again. She was as beautiful today as she was that night in Adam’s house. She’d been crying then, today she looked as if the crying had stopped but the hurting hadn’t. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to hold her in his arms but knew that would be too much, too soon.

  “I’m fine.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I like the house,” he said looking around the room. “What made you buy something on the coast?”

  She gazed briefly out the window to the breathtaking view of cliffs and water. He’d admired the area as he’d driven here from the airport, still unable to believe she’d actually purchased a house instead of moving into another apartment. And she’d bought furniture, lots of furniture. Downstairs looked as if she’d lived here more than two years. It was comfortable, plush and peaceful. Home.

  Turning back to him, she shrugged. “I’ve always liked the water.”

  “So do I,” he said and watched her look of surprise. For as much as he loved this woman he realized how little they really knew about each other. Trent knew there would never be another woman to claim his heart the way she had. And his intention had been to come here and fight for her. Now, seeing her, in this place she’d built for herself, this slice of happiness she’d managed to carve out despite the roller-coaster ride of a relationship he’d given her, he didn’t know if he could.

  “Let’s not beat around the bush,” she said finally. “I really don’t have the strength for it.”

  He took a tentative step toward her. “How do you feel? I heard you’ve been sick.”

  She tilted her head, her braids that had been pulled back from her face shifted. His fingers itched to touched them, to take her into his arms.

  “Did you hear that or did you call the doctor and ask for my records?”

  He wasn’t sure how much of that question was to be taken lightly, so he shrugged. “Honestly, a little of both.”

  She nodded, the edges of her lips turning upward.

  “Adam didn’t give me a whole lot of information and I needed to know.”

  “You needed to know what I was keeping from you again. That’s a real bad habit you have, Trent. People are entitled to their secrets if that’s what they want.”

  “I needed to know that you were okay, Tia. That’s all.” Trent stopped, took a deep breath and tried to start over. He really did not want to fight with her. “Were you planning to keep my baby a secret? If so, you probably shouldn’t have told Camille.”

  “Cami
lle is loyal if nothing else.” She shook her head and moved to the window. “No. I wasn’t planning to keep the baby a secret. I would have liked to tell you in my own time but I guess this is as good as any. We can get it over with.”

  “Is that what we’re doing now? Getting it over with?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Trent. I’ve never known what you wanted me to say.”

  “You could say that you’re happy to be carrying my child and that maybe we can make this work.” He held his breath the moment the words came out.

  She turned back to him. “I am happy to be carrying your child,” she said with a wistful smile. “Two months ago the thought of carrying another baby was as fearful to me as being involved in another car accident. I’d vowed that I would never get pregnant again. And then you came along with your arrogant smile and deadly hands and wham! I’m pregnant.”

  He chuckled because she’d made what they had sound so normal, so happenstance.

  “I didn’t think about having a baby, either. But I’ve got to tell you I’m pretty pumped about it now.” To hell with all these pretenses. He moved to her, touching a hand to the small of her back. “I’m more than pumped, I’m ecstatic. You’re having my baby. The woman I finally fell in love with is carrying my child and she’s more beautiful than ever. I couldn’t be happier.”

  Lifting a hand to cup his cheek she smiled. At that moment Trent knew instinctively what she was about to say wasn’t going to be good.

  “You’re going to be a good father, I know. And I’m going to do my best to be a good mother. This will be one lucky child.”

  “We’ll be great together.” He heard himself saying the words even as she shook her head.

  “No. What I said before you left still stands, Trent. Us as a couple is just not going to work.”

  He stiffened. “You mean you don’t want it to work.”

  “I don’t want to experience it falling apart.”

  “You don’t know that it will. Look, Tia, I know that my job is dangerous but it would be so even if I were a fire-fighter, a police officer. Hell, cab drivers even have it rough. It’s called living in the real world. Things happen that we have no control over.”