Heart of the Phoenix Read online

  The voice did not speak.

  “That’s what I thought. I am damned regardless.”

  “You are one of my most magnificent creations, and I am increasingly amazed at how much like your mother you are.”

  Thaddeus sighed. “And that will always be my curse.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Her voice came from behind him, small and cautious.

  Thaddeus turned, taking his hands out of his pockets and rubbing his palms down his thighs. “Nobody. I was simply thinking aloud.”

  Tayla stood in the doorway. She wore a short white robe that was tied tightly at her waist and barely skirted her knees. Her legs were bare. Thaddeus swore under his breath. When tiny drops of rain began to fall, relieving some of the heat emanating from his body, Thaddeus sighed at the obvious encouragement from his father.

  Tayla took another step outside, then backtracked when she felt the rain. “Come inside,” she said, holding her hand out toward him.

  He could not stay out in the rain and he could not avoid her or her questioning eyes. He walked to her, took her hand in his and kissed her palm.

  She looked up at him and smiled, as if she knew exactly what ailed him and the cure for it. She led him into the cottage and waited while he closed and locked the door behind them. Moving toward the center of the living room, she released his hand to retrieve a blanket from the closet. “Do you know how to light a fire?” she asked with her back to him.

  Thaddeus almost smiled. He could light a fire from millions of miles away; this fireplace would be a piece of cake. “Sure,” he replied simply.

  Tayla spread the blanket on the floor and grabbed a few pillows from the couch. “Sit,” she told him as she sank to the floor.

  Thaddeus lowered himself to the floor beside her, watching as the flames he’d ignited grew, illuminating the otherwise dark room. It was cozy and very intimate. The sexual tension sizzled around them, and Thaddeus tried valiantly to disregard it.

  Tayla was contemplative. He’d left her in the bathroom hot and ready for him to take her. He had been hard and just as ready as she was, and yet he’d walked away. There was no doubt he wanted her, just as there was no doubt she wanted him. But there was definitely a problem. She startled herself by admitting that she wanted to sleep with this man that she hardly knew.

  But she’d been through so much in her life that she’d learned not to take anything for granted anymore. She wasn’t asking for a commitment. She would be perfectly content with just sex. Love and commitment had failed her mother and failed her. She wasn’t willing to put herself through that drama again.

  Thaddeus, however, apparently wasn’t as sure about an affair with her. He’d said he’d been sent here to protect her, so Tayla could see the conflict. But that didn’t concern her. What did concern her was the sadness she’d seen in his eyes on different occasions. She’d finished with her bath quickly so that she could return to him. Alarm had soared through her when she’d seen the door open. For a minute she’d panicked, afraid that something had happened to him. Then she’d seen him, his broad form standing amidst the trees that surrounded her cottage. He’d looked at home with nature. His strong build, his hair hanging loose and his predatory stance had given him a purely animalistic appearance. Her legs had wobbled. He’d looked delicious and alone.

  They sat in silence a few moments and then she looked at him. He was staring intently at the flames, as if they were speaking to him.

  “The conversation you were having with yourself outside, was it about me?” she asked.

  He did not look at her. “It was about many things, some of which involved you.”

  “Did you come to any conclusions?”

  “I came to the conclusion that the most rewarding tasks are often difficult.”

  She shifted slightly until her legs were stretched in front of her. “Is that what I am, a task?”

  Her voice seemed small, cautious. That was something new, something he wasn’t quite sure he liked. Thaddeus turned to her, determined to keep his eyes on her face and nothing below. “You are much more than that to me. That is the problem.”

  “Why is it a problem?” She toyed with a piece of lint on the blanket. The room was quiet but for the sound of the fire crackling and the soft patter of rain against the windows. Tayla had never much liked rainy nights, but tonight the rain seemed comforting.

  “I am not here for that purpose,” he said solemnly.

  Her head shot up. “Then why are you here? Why did you come to Grayson Moore, and why are you with me?”

  “I told you before, I was sent to protect you.”

  His jaw was set. She noticed he looked that way when he did that when he did not want to talk or answer a question. His hair, hanging around his shoulders like silken brown ropes, added to his rustic look. His big form stretched from the waist down along the floor, his hands resting on thick muscled thighs. “Who sent you to protect me? Was it Jerome?”

  The look he gave her was lethal, a kind of controlled fury banked behind a stony mask. Her breath caught as she waited for him to respond, but she did not back down.

  “I would not do the bidding of someone so cowardly,” he said through clenched teeth.

  She’d known that. Thaddeus had a noble air. He was a gentleman even if he wasn’t in the usual gentleman package. “Then who do you work for?”

  His features relaxed and he gave her a small smile. “I work for you and Grayson Moore Academy.”

  “You know that’s not what I mean.” His smile seemed awkward, as if he weren’t used to such a simple action. The golden light from the fire flickered over his face and her stomach did a strange little twist. His eyes appeared transparent for a moment and she scooted closer to get a better look.

  Without a second thought she lifted a hand to his face, cradling his strong jaw. Her finger slid along his cheeks. She touched his thick eyebrows, his straight nose and full lips. “You are beautiful,” she whispered.

  He frowned. “Men don’t usually like to be classified as beautiful, Tayla.”

  “You are what you are, Thaddeus. You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Her hands continued their exploration, moving to his soft hair. “In fact, I don’t think there’s a man walking this earth today like you.” The impact of her words struck a cloud in her that didn’t sit well. “Where are you from, really?”

  “My home is a far from here. Far from Washington and far from the United States.” He caught her wrists just as her hands slipped to his shoulders. “I am not beyond temptation, Tayla. Your touch is driving me crazy with wanting you.”

  He held her hands in front of him, so that she was no longer touching his body. Tayla was intrigued. If a simple touch was bothering him what would happen if…She didn’t finish the thought but moved quickly to straddle him. His gaze simmered, piercing her with heat that spread throughout her body. “I want to know everything about you, Thaddeus.” She scooted further up his thighs until his thick erection was settled securely between her legs. “And I’m not above torturing you to find out.”

  His teeth clenched so hard he thought for sure they’d pop right out of his mouth. He wanted to swear at the gods, curse them for this sweet temptation. Instead, he released her hands, letting them rest on his chest. He could handle this…he had no idea how, but he was sure that with all his powers he could survive this interrogation. He was also sure that he couldn’t take it for an extended length of time, so he’d better start talking fast.

  “My superiors sent me to you. They watch over mortals and try to keep them safe whenever possible. You are my last assignment.”

  Tayla paused, slanted her head, and looked at him closely to see if he was just toying with her. “Watch over mortals? Like guardian angels?”

  Thaddeus flinched. The thoughts going through his mind right now were certainly not angelic. “Like bodyguards,” he corrected her.

  “Mmm, I wonder what I did to deserve a bodyguard.” She moved over him, wanting
to feel more of his thickness against her.

  His hands fell involuntarily to her hips, his fingers digging through the robe to feel her soft curves. “I don’t think it is so much what you’ve done as what the person after you has done. I think your husband has angered the wrong person this time.”

  She gripped his chest through his polo shirt. Feeling the strength of him against her palms was heady. She touched his nipples, squeezed them and watched as something flashed in his eyes. His eyes were entrancing, their color and density shifting with his moods. She was fascinated and yet afraid to really acknowledge the difference. “Jerome is my ex-husband. And he and his family are making people angry.”

  “That’s why I am here. To protect you from Jerome and the ones he has angered.” Talking was becoming difficult. He was sure she wore nothing beneath that robe. Her hair cascaded down her back, matching the fierce color of the flames roaring behind her in the fireplace. The urge to free himself and thrust into her was powerful. Her scent had been toying with him since the moment he’d set foot on these grounds. His blood beat fast and fiercely through his veins. Gods were very sexual, their stamina and desire surpassing anything of human knowledge. Mating was more than a pastime, more than a means of procreation of their kind. It was like breathing. And right now he was in danger of dying a very slow, very tortuous death.

  “That is why you are at Grayson Moore. But why are you here, in my house tonight, Thaddeus?” She traced his lips, wetting her own in the process. “Why are you allowing me to touch you if you can’t handle the temptation?” She rotated her hips over him and experienced the distinct pleasure of watching his eyes shift to the color of molten lava.

  “Your touch feels too good to stop. I don’t want to leave you alone because I don’t know when Jerome will strike. But I cannot do anything else with you because…” He struggled to speak because she’d pushed his dreads back and was now licking his earlobe with pleasurable strokes that tightened every muscle in his body.

  “Because what? What’s stopping you from touching me in return? From taking me into my room and making love to me? I know you want to.” Hell, she knew she wanted him to, despite the fact that some of what he’d said had increased her uneasiness. But Tayla couldn’t think beyond the physical right now. She couldn’t think beyond the pounding in her center, the tightness of her nipples and the overwhelming desire to feel Thaddeus deep inside her.

  Nothing, he thought, and caught her lips beneath his. The kiss was feral. Fast and furiously his tongue stroked hers, pulling her closer to him, taking his body craved. She grabbed chunks of his hair, her nails roughly scraping his scalp and Thaddeus groaned. He pushed her robe roughly over her shoulders, then moved from her lips to drop openmouthed kisses along her collarbone and down to her breasts, heavy, plump breasts that overflowed in his hands, thick puckered nipples that popped in and out of his mouth. He took all that he could without a second thought. She arched her back and he laved both globes. She continued to pull on his hair and he felt the heat building unbearably beneath the surface of his skin. He was on fire for her and would explode if he didn’t have her soon.

  “Take me, Thaddeus,” she moaned.

  Her voice echoed in his head as the fire within increased. The fire, the scent of burning tingle mixed with the enticing scent of Tayla. She wanted him to claim her, to take what she offered. If he did, there would be no turning back. He would never let her go. Their connection would be sealed.

  He pulled back.

  “Thaddeus?”

  He avoided her gaze, the question and hurt in her voice, and pulled her robe up over her shoulders. He stood, lifting her into his arms as he did. With long purposeful strides he took her to her bed. She nuzzled his neck, kissing him as they walked. He held his breath to keep from reacting.

  Pulling the blankets back with one hand, he deposited her onto the bed with the other. She looked up at him, expectantly, wantonly.

  He cursed, leaned forward and took her mouth in another searing kiss, then pulled the sheets up to her neck and backed away from the bed.

  “Thaddeus?”

  “No, Tayla.” He shook his head and continued to move toward the door. “This can not happen. It won’t work between us.”

  Behind him she said, “I’m not asking for forever.”

  He sighed, his hand on the knob of the door. “Good. Because I do not have forever.”

  And then he was gone.

  Chapter 6

  Tayla showered and dressed the next morning, all the while thinking of what had happened the previous night. That is, what hadn’t happened.

  Two times he’d rejected her. Two times she’d been ready and willing to sleep with him and he’d walked away. She was beyond angry at this point, but professional enough not to show it.

  Sometime after dawn her thoughts had shifted to the things he’d told her. His superiors protected mortals. Mortals?

  Just when she was thinking how strange his word usage was, she remembered his eyes. And with that she remembered the eyes of that beast they’d encountered. They were not the same as Thaddeus’ eyes but it was all quite unusual.

  She planned to call Thaddeus this morning for a meeting. She was going to finally get to the bottom of his reasons for being here and all the strange things that had happened since his arrival.

  She had rehearsed what she was going to say to him and walked into the living room to pick up the phone and call him over. She was not prepared for the sight of him stretched out on her couch.

  She screamed.

  He jumped up, his hand on his hip, where he kept that weapon. He looked wild and fierce and prepared to kill.

  She screamed again and took a step back.

  He moved toward her.

  She put up her hands, prepared to fight him if he dared to touch her.

  “Tayla?” He reached for her.

  She swung wildly but he caught her wrists before she made a connection. “What are you doing? It is me, Thaddeus.”

  “I know who you are,” she said, struggling to get out of his grasp. “What are you doing in my house?”

  Thaddeus pulled her roughly against his chest and looked down at her. “I was here last night, remember? I took you to your bed.”

  The thought of him kissing her and arousing her and leaving her in her bed alone stilled her. “I remember that,” she said stiffly. “But why are you still here?”

  “I told you I did not want to leave you.”

  “So you slept on my couch?”

  “Yes. And it was most uncomfortable,” he said, moving his neck to get rid of the kinks.

  She relaxed. “You could have slept in the bed if you were so intent on staying with me.” She hated that sound of hurt that crept into her voice, hated that she felt as if she were throwing herself at a man who didn’t want her.

  “If I had slept in that bed I would not have been able to resist making love to you.”

  His words poured over her and heat pooled in her center. He had that effect on her. “That’s what I wanted,” she admitted, refusing to play the coy game with him. She planned to put all her cards on the table, and she expected the same from him in return.

  Thaddeus brought her hands to his lips. “I wanted it, too.” When she would have spoken he covered her lips with a soft kiss. “But it cannot be.”

  “Why?”

  He released her hands and moved away from her. “I have nothing to offer you.”

  Tayla looked him up and down. “From where I’m standing you have a lot to offer me.”

  He turned to her then and smiled. “You would want more than the physical. You deserve more than the physical.”

  This had to be a first, Tayla thought. A man foregoing his basic needs for the emotional needs of a woman. But he was probably right. Though she’d claimed to just want sex last night, she’d never had meaningless sex before and here he was, telling her that he wouldn’t give it to her. She had to admire him for that, if nothing else. “I’m hungry.
Let’s eat,” she said and moved toward the kitchen.

  Thaddeus followed her, taking a seat at the table just as he had yesterday. He’d slept horribly. The couch was too small for his large frame, but that wasn’t why sleep had eluded him. It was hard for a man to sleep with a burning erection. And each time he inhaled, her scent had entered his body, claiming his soul. She was deep inside him to the point that several times throughout the night he’d gotten up, gone into her room and watched her sleep. He’d witnessed the play of moonlight on her bronzed skin, the fan of eyelashes on her cheeks, the small pout of her lips and the serene sound of her breathing. He’d wanted to touch her, to kiss her awake and then to make sweet love to her until the sun rose.

  But he could not.

  She put a pot of coffee on and took two muffins from the breadbox. They were heating in the microwave when she took the seat across from him.

  “Okay, so since we cannot explore our attraction to each other, I might as well get these questions out of my head.”

  Thaddeus nodded. “You are going to ask me who and what I am again, aren’t you?”

  Tayla opened her mouth, quickly shut it, then opened it again. “Yes, I am.”

  He looked at her, reached out and touched the long, flame-colored hair she’d left loose. “I am your protector. The man that will die in your place.”

  His voice sounded so ominous, so final in the quiet room. So honest. Of all the answers she’d replayed in her mind, that was the one she’d least expected. “Why?” That was all she could come up with in response.

  “Where I come from we have certain persons that are set apart to do specific deeds. There are some who only wreak havoc, create chaos as their life’s work. There are some who manifest the feelings of love, ensuring happy couples everywhere. And there are some, like me, that have the awesome job of protecting, of righting the wrongs of this world. I was sent to right the wrong that occurred in your life, to prevent chaos from going any further.”

  “But why me? How do you know about me?”