Hunger for You (Shadow Shifters: Damaged Hearts) Read online

  I jumped at the sound of the car horn and Caleb swore, pulling his hands away from my face. The warmth was immediately missed and as I looked across the parking lot to see Hanna jumping out of her car I actually wanted to scream for her to go back, to not have beeped that horn or pulled up in this parking lot. Because the truth was, I wanted Caleb to kiss me, more than I wanted anything else at that moment.

  I was stepping back from Caleb, who had already put distance between us, when Hanna came running over.

  “Are you okay?” she asked me, taking hold of my shoulders like she planned to shake an answer out of me.

  “I’m fine,” I tried to tell her but she let me go so fast to whirl on Caleb I couldn’t get out another word.

  “You do not put your hands on her!” she yelled in his face. “She already told you she has a boyfriend. What the hell’s wrong with you? You some kind of crazy-assed stalker?”

  “Stop it,” I said finally, trying to pull her away as she grabbed Caleb’s shirt as if to emphasize her words. For his part, Caleb hadn’t moved and only gave her a mildly annoyed look in response.

  Actually, he’d stopped looking at her and was now watching me. He wanted to see what I was going to do, what I was going to say. Would I agree with Hanna or would I admit I wanted his hands on me, wanted his lips on mine?

  “He wasn’t bothering me, Hanna,” I told her, giving the sleeve of the thin jacket she wore another tug. “I’m okay.”

  Caleb visibly blanched after I said that. His eyes blinked and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He only nodded to me, then slowly unclenched the fingers Hanna still had wrapped in his shirt, and gently pushed her away.

  “Next time we’re calling the cops,” she told him, but with much less conviction than when she had been yelling at him.

  Caleb turned then, walking across the parking lot. I watched him go, watched the set of his shoulders move with every stretch of his legs. I admired the curve of his butt in his jeans, the strength he exuded as he moved. It was beyond mesmerizing and sexy as hell. I wanted to go after him. I wanted that kiss.

  CHAPTER 5

  Caleb

  I was going to find him and then I was going to kill him. There was no doubt in my mind, no talking myself down from the decision. He had crossed the line. It was that simple.

  The moment I realized Dex and his sidekicks were rogues I should have chased them down and … what? Kill them because they were different from the other Shadow Shifters? For that matter, so was I. So I hadn’t gone after them, I hadn’t decided that I was the judge and jury and inflicted action on those shifters because they hadn’t done anything wrong, yet.

  The sound of Zoe’s gasp when I touched her arm, the pain that radiated from her temples down to her jawline, ripped straight through to my soul. My heart had actually stopped beating the second I realized I’d caused her pain. But I hadn’t caused it, only magnified it for the moment. And she had denied it.

  The denial and defense of that bastard was another bitter pill to swallow. One that I had no choice but to digest for the moment. Her friend was a little intense, but I’d dealt with worse.

  I sat in my apartment facing the window, staring out into darkness, had been in this position for more hours than I could count. This was how I thought, how I processed things within myself. Marta said it wasn’t healthy, that I needed to let someone in, let someone attempt to share my life, share my love. I loved Marta Sanchez with all my heart, but I disagreed. I had nothing to share and no love left to consider.

  I did have continued thoughts of Zoe, of her smile though I’d never been privileged to one of them personally, or that interested and attentive stare and the soft lilt of her voice. When I woke up each morning I thought of her, when I went to sleep it was the same. I’d never thought of anyone like that before.

  I’d also never planned an attack.

  Sitting on the couch beside me, my cell phone vibrated. I didn’t want to look away from the dark, didn’t want a break in my concentration. But the vibrating continued, until I finally picked it up.

  “Yeah?” I answered, having already looked at the screen and knowing who would be on the other end.

  “It’s time.”

  He said it solemnly, resolutely, like I should have been expecting this call at this very moment.

  “I’m good here,” was my response. He should have expected it, should have known I wouldn’t agree. I never had.

  “We need you, Caleb,” Brayden pressed.

  I’d begun staring into the dark again, holding the phone to my ear but not giving him my total attention. It didn’t matter, just as the words I’d just stated wouldn’t matter. Brayden Sanchez had been born for one reason—to become a Shadow Shifter guard. He was a warrior through and through and even though he was the second born, he often led the three boys and one girl raised by the Sanchez couple.

  “Your Assembly needs soldiers committed to them and to their cause. I am not one of them. I’m not one of you.”

  I never had been, no matter how many times they called me their son or their brother, I knew it was all a lie.

  “Cut the dramatic bullshit, Caleb, and get your ass to D.C. ASAP!”

  This was Aidan, the oldest, the one they thought would lead. Only I knew how much Aidan actually despised the idea of following a preordained destiny. I’d championed him when he decided to finish college, to strive for something else. Not when I heard the news of him falling for some girl and getting hooked up in that mating crap the tribes preached and going back to D.C. finally to do their bidding. I’d wanted to punch him in the gut for that move.

  Still, I had to smile at the sound of his voice. It had been too long since I’d talked to either of them.

  “You talk to your mate like that?” I asked, blinking away my dark stare and letting a smile creep along my face.

  I didn’t do that often either, really had no use for the action.

  “Don’t talk about her until you meet her face-to-face,” Aidan replied. “Which means you have to get here like yesterday.”

  “Nah,” I replied, laying my head back against the sofa. “Don’t think so.”

  “Why? What are you doing wherever you are that’s so damned important?” Brayden asked. “What means more to you than your family?”

  If I answered truthfully they’d show up at my door in about twenty minutes, tops. So I’d lie. I was getting used to doing that.

  “I’m thousands of miles away trying to take care of my own shit,” I told them.

  There were maybe two or three seconds of silence in which I knew I’d messed up big time.

  “What’s going on?” Brayden asked immediately.

  “You need backup?” was Aidan’s follow-up.

  I let out a breath. “I got this,” was my reply.

  “Doesn’t sound like it to me,” Aidan continued. “Is it male or female?”

  I could lie again but that wouldn’t end the interrogation. Besides, as long as they had no idea where I was, or how close I actually was to them, how close I’d made a point of sticking to them without them knowing, it didn’t matter.

  “Both.”

  “Human?” Brayden continued.

  “One of them,” I replied.

  “Rogue?” Aidan all but screamed through the phone. “Where are you? We can be there in—”

  “You can’t be anywhere but in that training facility about to take your finals. This is what you two were born for. It’s everything your parents ever wanted for you. I’m used to doing my own thing, nothing different about that this time.”

  “I don’t believe you,” Brayden said. “You don’t sound normal.”

  I chuckled at that. “I’m not normal on a good day, what makes now so different?”

  “Man, I don’t even want to hear about you being half human, half shifter. You’re my brother and you’ve been trained to be as deadly as any one hundred percent shifter ever born,” Aidan continued.

  “
If you know all that you know I can handle whatever I’ve got going on,” I told him, feeling quite smug at the moment. “You two just get all certified and shit and then we’ll meet up and have a beer to celebrate. Tell Lidia no vodka for her.”

  I hung up before they did because I didn’t want to hear any more arguments. I didn’t want to hear the love in Brayden’s voice as he talked about his mate, Lidia, the sister I never knew I wanted. I didn’t want to hear any more of their concern or hope for my return to the team we’d created as kids.

  I just wanted to be on my own, to deal with the demons that lived within me through no fault of my own. I didn’t want to be a part of a team or a family and I didn’t want to be drawn to this girl.

  And yet, on more than one of these fronts, I was, and I didn’t know if I had the power to stop it.

  ***

  Zoe would be at work tonight and Dex would most likely appear. When he did I would be right here, to get rid of him once and for all.

  I cut the engine and the lights and reached over to the passenger seat to grab my jacket before getting out of the truck. I wasn’t cold, was actually enjoying the chill in the air but didn’t want the patrons of the bar to see the gun I had stuffed in the back of my pants. I hoped I wouldn’t have to use it, hoped that Dex would listen to reason, or good common sense. If not …

  Just as I was heading to the front door of the bar I heard noises coming from around the back of the building. The heightened senses of a Shadow Shifter tended to annoy me, and I usually could ignore them, but not this time. There was laughter with an edge to it that I immediately recognized, maybe because noticing the pain in Zoe’s arm yesterday had put me in a hunting mood.

  I moved around to the back of the building, taking slow, almost predatory steps. Passing the Dumpster and the two feral cats hanging around it, I made my way to the back. I frowned as I moved because the scents back here were comingling—rotting trash, discarded liquor bottles, urine, and rogue. My fists clenched as my nostrils flared and I turned the corner.

  Dex had Zoe pinned to the wall, his face close to hers. Zoe had her hands on Dex’s chest as she attempted once, twice, to push him away. Dex didn’t budge. She pushed harder and he grabbed her by the wrists. And that was enough. I was beside them in no time, grabbing Dex by the collar and pulling him off her. He stumbled back, struggling until I let him break free. My attention immediately went to Zoe.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, going to her and touching her shoulders lightly.

  She jerked away from my grasp, giving me a look as if I’d been the one roughhousing her. To say I was a little confused would be an understatement.

  “He was hurting you,” I replied, feeling even more stupid than I had two seconds ago, if that was possible.

  “It’s none of your business!” she yelled. “I’m none of your business!”

  From behind I could hear laughter, the same as I had a few moments ago. His eyes were dark when I turned to face him, almost black and I knew that any second now they would switch totally to the eyes of a cat. The putrid stench of betrayal rogues carry with them blanketed the area like one of those itchy-ass wool throws. I rolled my shoulders, readying my body for anything—the fight or the shift, whichever was necessary.

  “You heard what the human said.” Dex frowned at me like he knew what I was about to do and conveying that he was also down for the fight.

  At his sides his fingers wiggled, no doubt feeling the sting of trying to hold back his claws. Mine didn’t hurt at all. I’d mastered keeping as much of my shifter traits controlled and bound as possible. The pronounced smell, hearing, and vision were a little harder to suppress, but I’d learned ways to ignore them.

  “Stop it!” Zoe yelled, coming between us.

  She turned to me, her fiery gaze locking with mine.

  “I told you this was not your concern. I can handle my own business. So you should go.”

  Dex laughed and inside my cat raged. I almost stumbled forward with the force it used in its attempt to break free. I didn’t want to hurt Zoe, couldn’t live with myself if I did. But I definitely wanted to kill Dex for putting his dirty hands on her. The cat inside wanted to be the one to lock its jaws around his neck and hold on until death was the only option.

  Zoe was in the way.

  I couldn’t shift in front of her, couldn’t risk her knowing how screwed up I really was. I took a deep breath, willing the cat to stand down, taking a couple of physical and mental steps back.

  “We’ll meet again,” I said, pointing past Zoe to where a smiling Dex still stood.

  “Fuck off, half-breed!” he said.

  I moved forward again only to feel the instant sting of heat as Zoe put her palms on my chest. Now I was the one she was attempting to push away. The cat inside me bared its teeth, rearing back at her touch as heat spread throughout my chest. My entire body shook with the two feuding entities. To save us both possibly, I pushed her arms away. “Fine, if you don’t want my help, let him beat you to death. I don’t care!”

  I was walking away without looking back, refusing to answer the burning desire to protect her, to keep her safe. It just wasn’t possible to save somebody that didn’t want to be saved, my mind screamed to no avail. I kept right on walking, every step heavier than the last until I was safe in my truck, slamming my palms onto the steering wheel repeatedly.

  She wasn’t my concern, she wasn’t my girlfriend. I didn’t have a girlfriend and damn sure didn’t want one. I’d never even been interested enough in another female to go so far as to protect her, especially not from her own boyfriend. That’s just not what I did, it wasn’t how I was made. I was sure my brothers were protective as hell over their mates, but Zoe wasn’t my mate, she wasn’t anybody. Or she shouldn’t have been.

  I jammed my key into the ignition and started my truck thinking this would be the last damned time I’d be at this bar. There was nothing for me here, nothing and nobody. There never had been.

  CHAPTER 6

  Zoe

  It was a horrible flashback. As I stood, still reeling from Caleb’s appearance and his subsequent departure at my request, Dex struck.

  In the past weeks that I’d known him he’d been very nice, kind of subdued in a lone biker type of way, but definitely a leader among his friends. He’d taken me on simple dates, nothing that I’d find in a romance novel, but fun things all the same. I didn’t feel this out-of-this-world attraction to him, but I continued to go out with him believing that the spark would eventually appear. I’d read enough books to know that it wouldn’t, especially not now.

  Dex’s hand fisted in my hair, pulling me back to him all the while yelling something about shadows and minding their own business, and more incoherent words I would later try to decipher. Right now the pain was excruciating, shooting through my skull like a million knives were being pierced into my skin. I didn’t scream though, didn’t have any intention of giving him that sadistic pleasure. For a few seconds my arms just flailed as I tripped over my feet trying to keep from falling to the ground as he pulled me. We were going deeper behind the bar to where there was a gate and then an incline leading into a dark copse of trees that faced the highway on its other side. I knew if he got me down there it would be over.

  I reached back then, grabbing his hands to try and still some of the force he was exerting. He was still mumbling something about shifts and revenge and whatever, I stopped listening. All I could hear now was the pounding of my heart as my brain went into overdrive trying to figure out what to do, how to save my life.

  The scene was all too familiar to me. How many times had my stepfather dragged my mom up the stairs and back down again? How many times had he used his grip on her hair to bang her head into the side of the bathtub or the corner of the dresser? It was a wonder she still lived and sometimes when I used to stand and stare at her, I got the impression that she really didn’t. That maybe, she thought death would be better. But then he’d take that out on us and she didn’t
want that, she’d never wanted that.

  The rage I felt for what my mother had gone through and what she might still be going through boiled inside me like piping hot lava and somehow, I twisted in his grasp so that I was now facing him. In this position I could plant my feet on the asphalt and at least fight against his force.

  “Don’t fuck with me, bitch! This is all your fault!” he screamed at me.

  I didn’t listen to the words, couldn’t afford to be distracted from the matter at hand. I scratched his wrists until I could feel my short nails sinking into his flesh, the moistness of his blood becoming embedded in their length. I couldn’t get him to let me go. I tried shaking my way free but that only caused me more pain.

  The panic of helplessness sliced through my chest and like a video on rewind, I was back in my bedroom when I was twelve years old and my stepfather had come inside after I’d gone to bed. He’d yanked the covers off me then roughly pushed my nightgown up past my hips. I hadn’t known what to do, only knew that fear was a nasty taste like bile in my throat and I hated it. So I kicked and swung until he finally stumbled back after one lucky shot had given him a bloody nose. Before he could come at me again I jumped off the bed and kicked him again, this time in the bulge I’d seen between his legs. He’d run out of my room then, groaning and calling me all kinds of vile names, but he never came back again. But whenever he beat my mother from that point on he would look to see if I was in the room, locking gazes with mine as if he wished he were beating me that way. To this day I’ll never understand why he didn’t come back and beat the hell out of me the way he did my mother.

  I stopped fighting Dex back then, just focused on keeping my feet firmly planted for another second or so. My lack of movement must have thrown him off. No, that had been his cell phone ringing. It had been ringing on and off since Caleb had left us alone but this was the first time Dex had attempted to answer it. He released one hand from my hair and I knew that was the only opportunity I was going to get. The moment I heard him speak into the phone I rammed my head into his groin with all the strength I could muster.