Heart of the Phoenix Read online

  Tayla’s legs quivered, her muscles tensing and contracting around his length. Thaddeus was a lot of man, both physically and mentally. He’d given her much to think about and even more to feel. With each stroke she felt as if they were fusing together, becoming one entity in this mindless swirl of desire. She could focus on nothing but him, the way he knew instinctively how to touch her both physically and mentally. By all accounts this should have been sex, plain and simple. Yet there was no room for those words in the midst of what was taking place in this room.

  “Tayla,” he groaned through clenched teeth.

  His voice reverberated through her body until it touched her soul. With each stroke he moved deeper inside her, whispering gentle and loving words that wrapped themselves securely around her previously damaged heart. Tayla had never thought she’d feel this way with a man again. But Thaddeus was no ordinary man.

  Just the way he loved her proved that point. He stroked her so slowly, so tenderly, that she wanted to weep. And in the next breath his hands gripped her bottom as if he were starving for more. She gave herself to him freely, unabashedly and without question. It was what she wanted to do, what she needed to do. There was something strange and dangerous going on in her world but for tonight, there was only Thaddeus.

  Thaddeus felt the freedom, the pleasurable abyss that compared to nothing else. His mind soared as he thrust inside her and pulled out and thrust back in again. When she wrapped her legs around his waist and began moving her hips with his, he wanted to scream, to yell to the gods that he had finally found his place, his peace.

  Tayla’s thighs began to shake and Thaddeus reached back to untwine her ankles, grabbing them and spreading her wide before sliding his hands down to the inside of her thighs, all the while giving her deeper thrusts. When his thumbs pressed against her tightened bud she let out a scream, then a curse, then on a long ragged moan called his name. “Thaddeus.”

  The sound of his name on her lips brought him to his release and he roared with the strength of it, the force of his emotions tangling with hers. The room suddenly went silent except for their erratic breathing.

  They lay limp and sated in the center of the bed, Thaddeus knowing instinctively that he’d crossed a line and could not go back. He also realized with a start that he did not want to. He’d made love to Tayla, not only out of want but of necessity. She was a part of him; he’d known it in those moments before he knocked on her door at the school. This moment was preordained and beyond the control of either of them. In essence, there was no room for regrets, at least not on his part.

  “Tayla.” He whispered her name, then kissed her ear before taking the bulk of his weight from her body.

  “No,” she protested, “don’t leave me yet.”

  “Sweetheart, I must. And when I return there is something I need to show you.”

  His voice sounded serious and Tayla felt a slither of alarm. “What? What is it?” she asked, trying to sit up.

  Thaddeus was slipping out of her when he put a finger to her lips. “Shhh. It will be okay. Just give me a minute.”

  When Thaddeus returned from the bathroom Tayla was still lying in the same spot on the bed waiting for him. Her legs were suffering from aftershocks of their lovemaking, so it would take her a few more minutes to be able to freshen up.

  She was in a blissful state waiting for him to join her in bed. She’d found she liked cuddling with him very much. So she was minutely alarmed when he took a seat on the side of the bed instead of climbing under the covers with her. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Do you regret what we’ve done?”

  Thaddeus took a deep breath. He had no regrets. He only hoped that after he showed her what he planned to show her she would feel the same way. Turning slightly, he took her hand in his. “No, sweetheart. I have no regrets. But I probably should have made something clear to you before we did it.”

  Slightly alarmed, Tayla sat up in the bed. “What is it?”

  He looked into her eyes and knew that he was doing the right thing. There were no laws against shifting in front of a mortal, but it was usually only done when absolutely necessary. They were still a predominantly secret society since mortals tended to react badly to things they did not understand.

  But from the beginning he’d known Tayla was different. That’s why he’d told her as much about himself as he had. But the moment he’d realized he was going to take their relationship a step further, he should have given her the complete story of his genetic makeup so that she could decide how far to go for herself.

  It was that complete story that had held him back from her and all other serious commitments in his lifetime. That thought still plagued him and while he had no idea what would happen to him when that time came, he could not endure the thoughts of not being with her in this way again.

  “I told you that my father was Poseidon, god of the sea,” he began slowly.

  “Yes. You told me that. And I believe you,” she said hurriedly.

  Thaddeus couldn’t help smiling. “I know you do, love. What I want to tell you now is that my mother was not a god. She was a very rare bird that intrigued Posiedon.” She looked as if she were following him.

  “Because of that union I am able to shift into another form.”

  She looked seriously at him. “Go on.”

  He pulled his hand away from her then. “I am not all that you see, Tayla.” He stood, naked both physically and emotionally. He wasn’t sure how he would handle her reaction. He only knew that he had to show her.

  Then it began.

  Tayla watched him closely. He had been different when he’d returned from the bathroom. Calm, too calm. He had something to tell her or show her and she wanted him to hurry up and get it over with. She didn’t like the way the atmosphere had changed since their lovemaking. It made her feel as if they’d done something wrong.

  When he stood her eyes remained riveted to his gorgeously naked body. Her mouth watered and for an instant desire began to build in the pit of her stomach. She wanted him again. She did not want to be having a serious conversation, just as she did not want to think of the danger that waited right outside her door. She wanted this moment, this night with Thaddeus. She wanted to lose herself in him.

  And then she saw it.

  His hair fell around his shoulders in heavy dark coils. Then that light surrounding him that she had become familiar with grew brighter, casting shadows against the walls. His height seemed to increase, along with the width of his chest. Muscles grew until she was sure his skin would tear from the strain. The room filled with such energy her heart beat frantically in her chest.

  He did not make a sound as his head fell back, his torso lengthening until he appeared to have no legs. His fingers twitched and flexed, becoming webbed, while his arms melted away, forming large discs of some sort. His skin puckered and silken feathers of violet and ebony and yellow grew like a bed of flowers.

  She gasped.

  Thaddeus looked down at her. “Do not be afraid, love.”

  Tayla heard his words, her eyes moving instantly to his face. Only now that face had shifted, his nose turning into a beak. His golden skin darkened until it was now a deep burnt orange, his hair a flowing mane of dark feathers.

  But it was his eyes that held her captive. She’d seen that luminescent sparkle before, that collage of gold and orange, like irrefutable flames.

  She blinked, inhaling deeply in an effort to let this all sink in. A few moments ago he had the body of a man. A man who had been sent to protect her. A man who’d just made sweet, passionate love to her.

  Moving slowly, she slid to the edge of the bed and took a moment to assure herself that she would not collapse as soon as she tried to stand. Before her stood a huge, menacing, gorgeous bird unlike any she’d ever seen before.

  When she took a step closer to him, she felt the intense heat of that glow that surrounded him and took a precautionary step back.

  “Come to me, Tayla. I will no
t harm you.”

  His mouth/beak did not move. Rather, his words seemed to speak only to her mind. Without his confession she’d known that he would not harm her. This other form did not intimidate as much as amaze her. This too was Thaddeus. All she had to do was look at the eyes and she knew that without a doubt. His voice remained the same, and he lifted a wing as if beckoning her to join him.

  She took another step and felt her entire body warm. She was within the range of that glow and sighed as it washed over her. It was like taking a really hot shower and drinking a really good merlot at the same time. Her skin tingled inside and out.

  “This is my true form. At night I usually take to the sky to release tension, to feel as if I am again at home.”

  She reached out a hand slowly.

  “Yes, touch me,” he whispered.

  Her fingers landed against feathers of a color she couldn’t quite describe. In one instant they looked violet and the next they looked black. They were on his wings, but on his chest the feathers were a deep, rustic gold and as shiny as a new coin. Her fingers slid slowly over them as she indulged in the silken softness.

  She’d rubbed his back as he’d made love to her and her heart had swelled with emotion. She touched his feathers and watched his eyes warm. Her heart tightened, too full to swell anymore but still experiencing an overload of feelings.

  This was Thaddeus. He was unlike any man she’d ever known. And now she knew why.

  She was still touching him as this magnificent creature began shifting methodically back into his human form.

  He drew her close in his arms and she rested her face against his chest. His heart beat rhythmically against her ear and she memorized the sound, knowing that she never wanted to rest her head anywhere else again. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, trying to express this swell of emotion to him silently.

  Thaddeus kissed the top of her head, releasing the breath he’d been holding since his transformation had first begun. He’d wanted nothing more than for her to accept him, and he was startled to realize what that one declaration would mean to him. While she still hadn’t said anything, he could feel it in her touch, in the way she’d looked at him as she’d come into his arms. He knew because he felt it too, that overwhelming urge to say and do anything to ensure that they would remain together.

  Even though he knew that it was impossible.

  Chapter 8

  Thaddeus felt her drifting, felt her limbs relaxing against his, and knew she was slipping into slumber. He smoothed her hair down, that fiery mass that had first appealed to him, then kissed her forehead. “I’ve been waiting all my life for you,” he whispered in her ear.

  He’d told her the truth. He had never connected with a woman the way he had with her and now he knew why. She was the one for him, the one he was meant to be with. The same way his father was the one meant for his mother. It would be sweet, romantic even, if not for the downside.

  His life was almost over. His time had almost come to an end. And he’d pulled her into this web of emotions so that now he would not leave this world alone. The memory of Tayla and her feelings would go with him. He’d have her love for all eternity.

  But Tayla would be left here to walk the rest of her days on earth in perpetual misery.

  That was what he’d fought to prevent all his life. He’d never wanted to leave anyone in that pitiful state. He could not control his destiny so he had attempted to control his feelings. Where Tayla was concerned, he hadn’t succeeded in that area either.

  He should leave her now but knew that he could not, would not. Not simply because his own heart wouldn’t allow it, but because it was too dangerous. The threat on her life was more real now than it had been before. Cerberus’ appearance had proved that. Something was hunting her and wouldn’t stop until she was dead. To keep that from happening, Thaddeus knew he would have to kill or be killed instead. It was the only way.

  * * *

  Tayla awoke shortly after dawn. Thaddeus was beside her, fast asleep. Her mind instantly filled with the night he’d first walked into her office.

  So much had happened between them in such a short span of time. So much in her life had changed. She needed to think about that, about what was happening around her. She slipped from beneath the covers and gathered her sweatpants and top. She often walked in the mornings, finding the exercise invigorating and refreshing. This morning she would find the solitude helpful, and maybe eye opening.

  The moment she stepped out into the mist-filled morning, she felt a sense of dread. There was something out there, she thought as she looked toward the mountains. And it was waiting for her. Tayla decided she would not be bullied and walked briskly in a direction that was well known to her. As her legs stretched and carried her further away from her house, she thought again of all that Thaddeus had told her, all that he’d shown her last night.

  He was exactly what he’d said, a descendent of Posiedon and Lythica. She searched her mind again for any recollection of the story of his parents but found none. But that did not alarm her. There was no doubt in her mind who and what Thaddeus was. Just as there was no doubt that what she’d first assumed was only lust had grown into something more. That thought didn’t bother her as much as it probably should have.

  Of course she’d sworn never to trust another man, to love another man. But Thaddeus was not just another man. Still, she couldn’t help wondering how he felt about this new thing between them. After shifting back into his human form last night, he’d lifted her into his arms and made tortuously slow love to her for the next hour. He’d touched her with such gentleness, whispering sweet words and soliciting things from her she’d never felt before.

  They were one.

  He’d said it repeatedly and she hadn’t quite understood it until deep in the night when she’d slept in his arms. She’d felt him physically holding her against him, his breath warm and ruffling against the top of her head. Never before had she felt so serene, so at peace with herself and the man she was with. Her legs had twined with his until she wasn’t sure where hers ended and his began.

  They were one. There was no doubt about that in her mind.

  Pausing at a rock by the creek, Tayla stood with her legs slightly parted and began stretching. Clasping her fingers together she reached her arms high over her head, then leaned from one side to the other, her eyes focused on the stream. Crystal clear water moving over rocks and boulders until it pooled into the center, it was a sight she was used to seeing. Yet this morning it seemed slightly different. Though there was about a foot of fog floating above the surface, still she could see the water clearly—that in itself was weird, but wasn’t what was so different.

  The difference was this morning it smelled like…like the sea. She closed her eyes, brought her arms down to her waist and inhaled deeply. She could swear she was on a beach, surrounded by sand and bright sunshine. She heard the rise and fall of waves, smelled the salt in the air and shivered.

  “You should not have come out here alone.”

  His voice was ominous, jolting her out of her peaceful meditation. She opened her eyes and watched as he materialized through the fog. His hair was drawn back. He wore jeans that fit his awesome physique. His tight T-shirt wasn’t too bad on the eyes either. He seemed larger than life, like one of those heroes on the covers of steamy romance novels. The stubble on his chin was both alluring and menacing, the look in his eyes soft, caring.

  “I usually walk in the morning. Alone.” She moved closer to the rock to keep her balance.

  “Circumstances are different now. I don’t want you out here alone.” Thaddeus moved closer to her. He’d felt her the moment she slipped out of the bed. He could have stopped her from leaving the house but knew that she needed a moment to gather her thoughts—to let what he showed her last night sink in. He’d followed her from a safe distance—up in the sky—making sure she was safe. When she stopped he couldn’t resist coming down for a closer look.

  B
ut that had probably been a mistake. Sleeping with her had shifted the entire balance of him being there. His feelings were now raw, intense and uncontrollable. And he didn’t like that.

  Tayla sat on the rock, dropped her hands into her lap. “I couldn’t think while you were so close.”

  Thaddeus walked over and took a seat next to her on the rock, drawn to her again. “It is a lot to take in at once, I know. But I would never hurt you. It is not in my power.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I am sworn to protect you. That is what I must do. To hurt you would be against my nature.” That was a simple rule in his life as a guardian. But in his life as a man, as part phoenix, he knew that hurting her was inevitable.

  “Was sleeping with me something you had to do? Was that a part of your assignment?” She held her breath, hoping that wasn’t the case.

  Thaddeus shook his head and took her hand in his. This was not right. What he was feeling and what she was apparently feeling, was not right. But it was there and he could not deny it. “No. Sleeping with you was something I had to do for me, for us. It had nothing to do with my assignment.”

  “Oh. So what happens now?” Her heart was thumping so loudly it echoed in her ears. She was thinking of Jerome and what type of threat he posed not only to her, but to Thaddeus too.

  His thumbs rubbed against the soft skin of her hands and his eyes found hers. He loved her eyes, the deep intensity of them coupled with that soft allure. “I am here to protect you, just as I said. The rest, this thing between us, it was unexpected. But it is also undeniable. However, I will not let it interfere with my assignment. I cannot afford to let my guard down; it could cost you your life.”