Defying Desire Read online

  The pain she’d felt in her chest yesterday was nothing compared to the immediate warmth moving through her at this moment. It consumed her, slowly building, then wrapping her heart in a tight little bundle. Why had his words meant so much to her? Why him? Why now?

  Too many questions and not enough time to analyze them, she thought. Yet ignoring Trent was never an option.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Nobody’s ever put it quite like that before.”

  “They should have. But since I’m the one who had to tell you I’ll be the one to follow up on your progress.” He smiled.

  “I didn’t say I was going to see anyone,” she said, knowing full well it wasn’t the response he wanted to hear.

  “You should know I’m not a very good negotiator.”

  “You don’t control me, Trent. We’re not a couple, we’re just lovers, remember.” She said the last part with more vehemence than she thought or intended. She didn’t want Trent to be anything other than her lover. Right?

  She probably should have thought to say that sooner because he jumped off her as if she were the carrier of some deadly disease. Standing a good distance from the bed he said, “Camille used to see this really good therapist. Either I’ll get the name and number for you or you can get it yourself. But I’m warning you not to take too long. I don’t have a lot of patience.” That slow, sweet smile again.

  “You don’t have a lot of sense,” she said moving off the bed and looking for her shoes. “I’m a grown woman. I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

  She’d just found her other shoe and was standing up when he grabbed her by the shoulders. His front was pressed into her back and he spoke in a soft, but gruff voice directly into her ear.

  “This is not a game, Tia. It’s your life you’re playing with. Now if you don’t want me bossing you around then stop being a nitwit and do what we both know is right.”

  “Let go of me. You have no right,” she said icily.

  “Now see, that’s where you’re wrong. Since we are ‘lovers’ I have every right to touch you when and where I want to. Unless you want to change that, too.”

  Her entire body went still with his words. What was he asking her now? Tia couldn’t think straight. She’d known it wasn’t going to be easy dealing with Trent, but this was going over the top. He shouldn’t give a damn about her mental health or her feelings for that matter. That’s not what they agreed to. It’s not what she could handle.

  “Do you still want to be my lover, Tia?”

  Why was he doing this? Why was he acting so differently from how he was supposed to? He was one of the Triple Threats, he didn’t want any serious entanglements. He didn’t hold women and tell them that he’d take care of everything for them. That wasn’t who he was supposed to be.

  “Just let me go, Trent. I need to go to the bathroom and I want to go home.”

  She hadn’t answered his question, yet he’d still let her go. Closing herself in the bathroom she gave a heavy sigh. What the hell was she doing? She couldn’t be, shouldn’t be…falling in love with Trent Donovan.

  “Dammit!” In the living room where Trent had stomped to after she’d closed herself in the bathroom, he slammed his flattened palms down on the bar.

  She was right. He wasn’t supposed to give a damn if she got help or not. He should never have brought her here. He should have taken her to the hospital or to her house yesterday. And he should have left her alone.

  Holding her, rocking her as she cried and dreamed throughout the night had been foolish.

  But Trent wasn’t one for regrets. It had happened and now he had to make the best of it. The fact was he was worried about her. Had been since that night at Camille’s party and that probably wasn’t going to stop because they both were now questioning his actions.

  Speaking of Camille, he knew she had to be worried sick about what had happened. Neither she nor Adam had looked pleased at him carrying Tia off once more so he decided to give their minds some relief. Reaching for his cell phone he dialed their house number. It was early Sunday morning, they probably weren’t even up yet.

  “Hello?” Camille answered on the first ring.

  So much for sleeping late, Trent thought. “Mornin’,” he said clearing his throat.

  “Trent? Where’s Tia? I tried calling her house? How is she?”

  “Whoa. One question at a time, little sis. She’s right here with me at my place. And before you get all feisty, I didn’t touch her. Well, not in that way.” And the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. To be quite honest Trent had been more than a little nervous watching Tia’s breakdown last night.

  Through the phone he could hear Camille releasing a deep breath. “Thank God, I was so worried.”

  “I know, that’s why I called.”

  “So what happened? I mean, one minute we were all having such a good time and the next she just went off.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s going to have to be the one to tell you about that. I just wanted you to know she’s a lot better this morning,” he said, looking towards his bedroom expecting her to emerge at any minute.

  “I’m going to stop and get her some breakfast and then take her home. She’ll probably call you later today.” And if she didn’t, because he’d gotten the upper hand by calling Camille first, he was sure his soon-to-be sister-in-law would be calling Tia, if not showing up on her doorstep.

  “You know what’s going on with her, don’t you?” Camille asked suddenly.

  Trent thought about lying, then figured there was no point. The key was to get Tia the help she needed to deal with her grief. He planned to stay on Tia’s back about it but it would help if she had a softer influence like Camille in her corner, as well.

  “I do but I’m going to let Tia tell you herself. Besides, she might open up to you a little more than she did to me. I’ve already overstepped the trust boundaries with her, I’d rather not do it again.” For the first time in his life Trent had second thoughts about investigating someone without their knowledge. While he knew that knowing Tia’s problems had given him the ability to deal with her breakdown last night, he was sure she didn’t like the way he’d found out. And as he’d sat on the bed under her shaky scrutiny he’d felt like crap for disappointing her.

  He heard her moving in the other room and decided the ride home with her would go a lot smoother if she didn’t catch him on the phone with Camille talking about her. “Listen, tell Adam I’ll give him a ring later. I’ve got to go.”

  “Okay,” Camille said. “And Trent?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks. You did a really good thing and I’m proud of you.”

  Why those words had Trent smiling he couldn’t quite say. Except that having Camille and Adam think he was some kind of deadbeat whose only purpose on this earth was as a womanizer hadn’t been sitting well with him lately. Knowing that he had some qualities that redeemed him with them felt good.

  “I’m not all bad, Camille.”

  “I know. It’s just taken you so long to realize that.”

  Trent was just closing his phone when Tia emerged from the bedroom. She looked tired as hell and still a little agitated with him. Finding he didn’t like either of those issues, he decided to deal with the latter first.

  He moved until he stood directly in front of her. She looked up at him warily. He didn’t touch her but folded his arms over his chest.

  “I apologize for looking into your past. It was wrong. I should have just asked you what I wanted to know.”

  She blinked and a look of complete shock covered her face. “Ah…okay,” she said slowly, then shook her head as if to clear it. “I just didn’t think what we were doing required full disclosure.”

  Having sex with a woman didn’t usually, he agreed with that. Except for the fact that she was healthy, which he also covered by using protection, Trent hadn’t ever needed to know much more about the women he slept with. Until Tia.

  “It’s a habit that
comes with the job,” he replied.

  “Was I a security threat?” she asked with a raise of one elegantly arched brow.

  Only to my sanity, he thought but wisely didn’t speak. “Like I said, it’s a habit and I’m sorry.”

  Tia took another deep breath. “It’s okay. I’m kind of glad you know. And what you said in there,” she nodded back toward the bedroom, “You were right. I do need to try to move past this grief. I’m so tired of carrying this burden.”

  She was shaking her head again and Trent ditched the idea of keeping his hands to himself. Instead he wrapped them around her, pulling her tight into his embrace. “Listen, I deal with death all the time. I’ve lost some team members as well as some good friends in the line of battle. But the one thing I know is that they lived their purpose and I have to live mine. Nowhere is it written that I must carry the guilt of their deaths with me as a reminder.”

  Dropping her head to rest on his chest she whispered, “I can’t just forget them.”

  “And I’m not asking you to. But you need to forgive yourself for surviving that accident. You need to accept that you are still living and move on.”

  She chuckled and looked up at him. “You sound like my mother.”

  “Then your mother must be one smart lady.”

  “I’m hungry,” she said.

  “I figured as much. Let’s get you fed and back in your apartment.” He was leading her to the door when she stopped and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to hers.

  When her lips touched his warning bells exploded in Trent’s mind. He’d kissed her many times in the last couple of weeks and had enjoyed it immensely. But this kiss was different.

  The touch of her lips seemed softer, the swipe of her tongue over his intense but meaningfully so. She guided his mouth in a sensual ride that took Trent’s breath away. Was she apologizing? Were they making up? Was he completely losing his mind?

  The feeling was foreign to Trent but he could swear this kiss was a declaration of sorts. Her feelings or his, he couldn’t quite tell. All he knew for sure, as he once again wrapped her lithe body in his arms and settled in to take the kiss deeper, was that at this moment this was exactly where he wanted to be and whom he wanted to be with.

  Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that the last of the Triple Threats was in deep trouble.

  Chapter 12

  Before going into Tia’s building he asked her to show him her car. She had a nice gunmetal-gray Honda Accord coupe. A couple of weeks ago he would have expected her to have something expensive, more flashy. Now, as he stepped off the curb, crouched down and touched a hand to the ripped rubber of her front tire, he realized this car suited her true understated glamour.

  “What time did you finally get up yesterday morning to go to the shower?” he asked remembering he’d left her place a little after three in the morning. Heading to the parking lot at that time of morning he hadn’t seen anything suspicious. Then again his body had been sated, his mind still full of the sensuous woman he’d had the pleasure of making love to for more than five hours. But Trent was a soldier, if something were out of place yesterday morning when he’d come out, he would have seen it.

  “A little after noon,” she said from where she was standing on the sidewalk.

  Looking over his shoulder he couldn’t help but grin with pride. “Did I tire you out?”

  “It figures I’d be attracted to a night owl,” she said, looking away as color blotched her cheeks.

  The fact that he could make her blush only served to endear her more to Trent. A point he was going to have to find the time to think through. If the feelings he feared he was beginning to develop for Tia St. Claire were going to be a problem for her, he preferred to know sooner rather than later. That was the only way a suitable plan of action could be considered.

  “So when you came out at…”

  “A little after one,” she finished for him. “It takes me forty-five minutes to get to the other side of the city where Jade and Linc live. The shower started at two so I figured I’d arrive right on time.”

  “And when you came out you saw that all four tires were flat.” He was walking around the car now, noticing that each tire was slashed. The cuts jagged, as if done with an angry blade.

  “Well, I was carrying the gift. It was a big box so I put it down when I got to the driver’s side. That’s when I noticed the first flat. I unlocked the doors and was about to open the back door to put the box on the backseat when I saw the other flat. Then I walked around the car and saw the others.”

  He had just been kneeling, looking under the car. As he suspected there were big wet spots on the ground. Most likely a combination of oil and brake fluid. He stood frowning.

  “That’s when you called Adam to come and pick you up?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I called Camille to see if she could pick me up on her way. But she was already at the shower. Adam needed to come back to their house to get their gift so she asked him to get me.”

  She stood there, with her purse dangling from one arm, one hand twirling a braid as if that were the most natural pose in the world. Which was conceivable considering her line of work. The fact that she looked like she was posing for Playboy magazine with her skintight jeans and white ribbed tank top that barely held her full breasts in check was just a coincidence. Those heels had to be at least three and a half to four inches high, yet she stood in them like she was wearing house slippers. She was sexy before ten in the morning and wearing clothes she’d had on the day before. His body tightened with desire.

  “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked moving closer to her. He felt like a predator approaching his prey. His heart thumped methodically as if timing its beat with his footsteps, setting the scene for the perfect attack.

  She straightened putting her hands behind her back as he grew closer. “Why would I call you?”

  “Because I should have been the one to pick you up. I should have taken you to the shower and brought you back home.”

  She nodded. “Because you’re sleeping with me?”

  A smart-mouthed temptress, Trent thought. On fire, he stepped right up to her until her breasts brushed against his chest. She didn’t step back but raised her head until their gazes met. “Exactly. And since I’m sleeping with you that makes you my responsibility. The next time you need a ride, the next time you need anything, you call me.” He took another step wanting to see if she’d back down. She didn’t and his arousal pressed harder against the zipper of his pants.

  She stepped into him making sure just about every part of her front rubbed against his. “What if I need something now?”

  “I’ve got exactly what you need now,” he stated in a low voice seconds before scooping her up into his arms and heading straight for her building.

  She let her head fall back, her hair dangling seductively over his arm. “I can walk, you know.”

  “I told you before I like the feel of you in my arms.”

  Wrapping her arms around his neck she buried her face in his chest. “I like the feel of being in your arms.”

  The second they arrived in front of her door Trent put her down, backed her to the wall and tried to kiss the edges of lust away. He was burning for her, his body so hot he thought for sure he’d go up in flames if he didn’t get inside of her right this minute.

  Minx that she was Tia molded her body to his, using her hand to cup the nape of his neck, bringing him down, sucking his tongue deeper into her mouth.

  “Keys,” he growled when he could tear his lips from hers for a second.

  “Right,” she said out of breath.

  He didn’t move away from her, loved the feel of her pressed so securely against him. It was then that Trent looked just over her shoulder. Then he saw her door was already ajar.

  “Don’t move,” he told her in a voice that had gone steely.

  Tia instantly tensed. He was looking so serious. Deadly serious. “Tren
t?” she called his name but he didn’t look at her again.

  Instead he took a step away from her. His big frame was rigid, each movement precise, planned.

  She reached out, touched his arm. “What’s going on?”

  His head snapped back to her. “I said don’t move.”

  She froze, the combination of his voice and his gaze stilling her.

  Tia gasped when she saw him reach a hand behind him and come back holding a gun.

  “What—”

  “Keep quiet and don’t move!” he said sternly, then moved through the door.

  Her front door that he’d simply pushed open. Why was her door unlocked? Her heart had already been pounding with Trent’s kiss and the anticipation of his hands on her naked body. Now, it was pounding from fear.

  He’d told her to stay still but there was no way she was standing out in the hallway while he went into her apartment like a Shaft wannabe, prepared to shoot first and ask questions later.

  She’d meant to follow quietly behind him but the moment she saw the state of her apartment she’d gasped loudly. Trent turned immediately, scowling at her. He looked as if he were about to say something.

  The couch had been ripped to shreds, her lamps tossed on the floor, shattered glass was all over. Her big-screen television had been smashed, the recliner turned over and slashed. It was a mess. With a hand over her heart Tia turned away from the scene in the living room and followed Trent into the bedroom.

  He’d already looked around and was moving into the bathroom but Tia stepped through the doorway and stifled another gasp. While the living room was a shock, it was nothing compared to her bedroom. All her clothes were strewn over the floor, the mirror on her dresser was smashed. Her mattresses were turned over and cut so that the springs were now showing.

  “Who…who…” she was trying to speak when Trent came up behind her, touching a hand to her shoulder.